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What's your flavor?

I was my favorite flavor! This is what it had to say about me:

"Your personality is as friendly and appealing as strawberry ice cream (especially the kind with chunky bits of real fruit). You've got a slightly sarcastic sense of humor, and you rarely stress out or take things too seriously. You are cute and sweet, but with a mischievous side. You are a bit of a troublemaker, but only because you're determined to avoid a plain vanilla life. "

What do you think? Sound like me?

The Dancing Annalee

Mysterious Monitor

My dad bought a little spy camera for his house, but found it difficult to use for his intended purpose as a security camera. So it was just in the house, not really doing anything. Before we moved we stayed with my parents and we used it as a video monitor to check up on the baby when she was asleep downstairs and we were upstairs. It was super nice to be able to see and hear her without having to go downstairs. My dad was generous enough to let us take it with us and use it in our new house. It has been great to be able to see why she's crying before making the trek all the way upstairs to her room now. But the other day, something odd happened.

When I turned on the monitor one night, I noticed that it had moved. It was no longer directly facing the crib, but was moved slightly to include the rocker that is off to the side of the crib. This has happened before and my theory was that Lee moved it to check up on us. I often do the morning feeding in that chair and sometimes other feedings as well. Lee is pretty groggy in the morning and so in the past we've thought that maybe he moved it to see us, but was too groggy to remember. One time he was sure he hadn't touched it, so I created a new theory that I bumped it somehow while turning it off and it was dismissed again. However, this particular night, it was certain Lee didn't move it because I had checked it later after Lee was up and awake and it was still on the crib. I tried out my second theory by seeing what happens when the auto button is bumped. It immediately began to scan the whole room. It didn't stop. Even when I turned it off, it started scanning again when it was turned back on. That means that I would have had to accidentally bump it twice while in the act of turning it off in order to stop the scanning and not realize it. That was impossible.

Earlier that day I had been with Annalee in her bedroom. I was playing with her and had set her down in the rocker. She loved it! I have a vague memory of thinking that I heard the monitor move while we were there. You can't really hear it move, so the thought never made it completely to my consciousness. But it must of been close because it came back to me when I saw that it was in fact moved to include the rocker. I must have somehow perceived of it moving from the corner of my eye or something. The scary thing is that Lee didn't do it and obviously neither did I. So who moved it??

Since it has a wireless signal, we wonder if the channel is being picked up by someone else who is able to control it somehow. The interesting thing is that a few days previous to the incident, I was talking with my neighbor and she asked about something red I'd had hanging in our bedroom window which is seen only from the backyard. She would have had to really be trying to see them from her yard! She also mentioned that her father was a spy for the US.

Annalee Update

She's moving! She's been able to roll to get around for a while now and she could push herself backwards or around in circles. But this week she has finally started to go forward. She began to push her whole body off the ground in a push-up position. She also started to get up on her knees. Yesterday, though, the real progress came when she learned to push herself and actually get somewhere going forward! She still tries to do it on her knees, but mostly ends up in a face plant! So for the most part it's just scooting around and not really crawling. She is taking off though and is getting faster by the second!

Annalee just finished trying to put her foot in her mouth, but since she appears to have her mothers flexibility, she was unsuccessful so she gave up! Now she's just rolling around making a constant motor-like noise. She is capable of babbling, but prefers the other noises instead. She is getting really good at "bah, bah, bah" and also at the "P" sound as she blows a little from her mouth. She can also say the sounds for M, D, and probably a few others when she babbles. Often we hear a very distinct "hi" from her, though she probably doesn't really know what she's saying. It's still fun to hear!

Monday she was on her tummy and I was encouraging her to come to me. She became fascinated with my hands as the fingers curled in toward the palm in a beckoning motion. After watching awestruck for some time, she began to copy it herself. When we tried to show Papi later, she refused to show off. Then to our surprise, we were on the web cam with grandparents Anderson and she began to do it to them! I don't know if she was waving, or asking them to come to her, or simply showing off her new trick but it was super cute! I'll catch her doing it every now and again intently watching the movement of her fingers. It's the best when she says "hi" while waving as if she actually knows what it is she's saying!

She has also picked up head banging somewhere! Mostly when on her tummy,
she begins to bob her head up and down and gets a kick out of it when we copy her! Hanging upside down is a fun game for Papi and her. Oh yeah, and she really does not like peas!

To Change or Not to Change

Last night as I was waiting for my brain to shut down so I could go to sleep, some of my twisting and twirling thoughts snapped into place like pieces of a puzzle, revealing an epiphany hot off the press. The purpose of church just clicked to me. How long have I been going every Sunday and the real objective of it has seemingly passed me by? Yes, I know it's to feel and to share the Spirit, to instruct and to be instructed, to serve and to be served, and most importantly to renew our baptismal covenants as we remember the sacrifice of Christ for us. So what have I missed for all these years? Change.

According to the Bible Dictionary, repentance involves change. "The Greek word of which this is the translation denotes a change of mind, i.e., a fresh view about God, about oneself, and about the world." Taking the sacrament isn't just a time to remember Christ or our covenants, but to repent, or to change. How do we know what to change? Well there are a series of talks and lessons during the three hour meeting that give us plenty of suggestions! When was the last time you heard a talk and then acted on what was taught to you? Too often we go to church just to feel good and be fed, then we go home and life continues without a change. Christ has promised us water that we will never thirst again. But when we are fed at church, how long does it last? How do we drink so that it will "be in us a well of water springing up into everlasting life"? (John 4: 14) I believe that the way to never thirst again is to repent by changing our lives to fit the principles we learn about each week.

So we go to church, listen to talks and lessons (or give them) and we feel good because we have felt the spirit. But have we changed? Here are some examples. I gave a talk on visiting and home teaching a few weeks ago. I discussed the importance and purpose of the callings as well as other specific aspects necessary for us to be effective. Yet, I am seeing no change. My first thought was that I must have done a poor job in my talk as I was obviously unable to convey the specifics that I had learned in my own study. While this may be true, I began to think about the last time I had listened to a talk and changed something I was doing to be in accordance with what was taught. I couldn't think of anything recently. Just last Sunday a talk was given about Zion and how to make wherever we are be Zion. I thought it was a great concept. But did I change anything about how I was living so that I could do what was taught? I'm going to have to go with no on that one. Not too long ago the lesson was on the Sabbath day. How many of us committed to a higher level of Sabbath day keeping and how many of us just kept doing what we've always done?

Church is not just to make us feel good for a few hours, but to teach us how to feel good every other day as well for the rest of our existence. In order to progress in the gospel and truly use Christ's atonement, we must take what we learn and do it. Every single week. One step at a time. Can you imagine how close to perfection and God we could be if we just worked on one attribute each week? That's 52 things in a year alone that we could improve in our lives. In the next 5 years that would be 260 specific and conscious improvements! (Assuming of course that we continue doing all the past ones when a new one is learned). This is progress. This is using the atonement in our lives, not just remembering the sacrifice. This is the purpose of going to church every week: to change.

I Am Brain Damaged!

I am sure that some of you may have been aware of this fact for some time now, but I am just now beginning to come to grips with it's reality. What has caused this sudden realization after 25 years? A book called blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. I am only just beginning, but Malcolm Gladwell is explaining how your subconscious mind can figure things out faster and sometimes more accurately than your conscious mind, allowing us to make decisions in the blink of an eye instead of thinking things through in a logical and rational manner. Sometimes something "just feels right." He is careful to explain that there are ways we can blind even our subconsciousness, though, so it's not like our subconscious mind will always "tell the truth."

As many of you know, I have struggled with decision making my whole life. It is quite difficult for me to decide even the simplest thing without first weighing out the pros, cons, and consequences of any given choice. Gladwell talks about the research of a neurologist named Antonio Damasio who studied patients with damage to a part of the brain called the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, which lies behind the nose.

"The ventromedial area plays a critical role in decision making. It works out contingencies and relationships and sorts through the mountain of information we get from the outside world, prioritizing it and putting flags on things that demand our immediate attention. People with damage to their ventromedial area are perfectly rational. They can be highly intelligent and functional, but they lack judgment."

That pretty much sums me up! Highly intelligent (j/k!), mostly functional, rational, etc. So the reason why I have to look at every menu item before making a selection or why it takes me hours (or days) to play a game of chess (think of all the options and consequences associated with each move!) is simply because I am brain damaged!